I have always considered women to be very complex human beings. One minute she is laughing and the next she is carrying her nose in the air like someone who has shit stuck on it. When you ask what is wrong, the default answer is “Nothing”, then you move on and then you are accused of not caring.
“Did I not ask a legit question or am I supposed to sniff out the problem that is eating you up like a trained police dog that can sniff cocaine a mile away?”
“So, I’m now a drug dealer?’ Glory asked pointedly
Gasps. ‘I didn’t say that, I just used that as an illustration…”
“Of all the illustrations to use…you compare me to hard drugs…”
…and there goes another round of drama. Ah! This specie could be very exasperating.
Glory and I had been married for 7 years. 7 beautiful years, not without its ups and downs, which marriage doesn’t have it. However, with every new day, I discovered something new about my Glory. Glory wasn’t your regular girl, no, she was very witty, strong willed and hardworking. I guess it was her never – say- die spirit that drew me to her. We met at a beach party organized by a mutual friend and my Glory was the life of the party. I, myself, I’m very introverted, so I loved the energy she brought on. She walked up to a shy me and asked that I danced with her. I wasn’t so much of a dancer, but she insisted and cooed her way into getting me on the dance floor. I had had a very bad time at the office that day, in fact that week was stormy for me. My line manager had it in for me and I felt I was walking on egg shells. I really needed the Glory effect and that I got. She made me relax. That was the Glory I met and fell in love with. Though, I must confess, sometimes the energy was a bit too much. She could be a little too much, (if you know what I mean). Glory loved to be the centre of attention. She was nicknamed by her friends “All Eyes on Me”. Initially, I found it very amusing, but after a while …
I was supposed to notice her new clothes, her new hair style, her losing weight, her putting on weight. I must always get a compliment ready, if not, up goes the nose! This week, I had complimented her latest hair style, which I didn’t think fitted her, but if she liked it, then, I liked it too. She cooked a new meal from one recipe book she got online, it had a very weird taste, but my Glory said it was a healthy diet and we were team organic, so I swallowed each spoon imaging it was a big bowl of amala and gbegiri with ogunfe (goat meat) and assorted.
I must confess that sometimes it is beyond tiring. Coming back to the latest drama, what did I do now? I had searched my soul and I could not find where I had sinned. I wasn’t sure what I did or didn’t do or what I said or didn’t say, I just knew I was in trouble. It first went on for three days, then one week, two weeks, here weeks, I begged, I asked, I hoped by the end of week three, I had had enough. I faced the T.V. God bless the man who created football. Life is not that deep.
Few minutes later, I felt someone rubbing my head. I looked up from the T.V. and saw my Glory smiling sheepishly at me. I was confused.
“I was just testing you to know how much you love me now! Can’t someone play with you again?” she said.
My mouth opened. But no words came out.
It’s either something I said or didn’t say or did or didn’t do. the beautiful thing was that we would eventually would settle after she has carried her nose up for 3 days, but today’s own was different.